It’s been a while since I’ve posted, but this morning I was overcome with emotion. When this happens, all I know how to do is write about it. So, I obediently followed my gut and as soon as I sat down at my desk I opened up blogger and got to work.
This morning I am sad, and I miss her.
Yes, her.
I guess it took all week for it to hit me, but this morning as I dropped her off and drove away I realized that yes, I was REALLY going back to work and no, it wasn’t just for a few hours or a few days. And even worse, I wouldn’t be allowed to bring this precious girl with me anymore, like I had been doing from time to time while on maternity leave.
(Come on, isn’t she cute? Don’t you think she’d make a great mascot? She really is a great baby, and I know between my three classes we’d do a great job keeping things under control!)
After my first day back to work I couldn’t help but think about what my dad said after his first day of kindergarten–“It was okay, but I think I’ll just stay home tomorrow.”
So this morning I am sad, and I miss her.
It doesn’t help that it’s dreary and rainy and all I have for breakfast is a half-empty water bottle and fiber bar. (Though I don’t think a McDonald’s sweet tea or even Hardee’s hashbrowns could fix this heartache).
It doesn’t help that I keep listening to sad songs like Highway 20 Ride and wallowing in my emotions.
What does help is knowing that she is with an amazing woman reminiscent of my mother in a beautiful old home where she can play with other lovely children and smile and laugh and kick all day.
And what helps even more is knowing that I will get to see this smiling face all day tomorrow.
And the next day.
And I won’t worry about the rest.
2 thoughts on “Hard Day”
Awww, Cilla. I'm sitting at Kelli's while she's on the phone and I thought I would check FB where I saw your post. What a beautiful post, but of course it is, everything you write is beautiful. And I had to smile when I saw you were listening to Highway 20 ride – great song but not great to listen to during sad moments. I'm sorry you are having a rough day, but atleast it's the weekend and more AJH time coming. 🙂 Love you!
so sweet… she is just getting more and more beautiful by the day!