A friend recently posted this article about women in the Netherlands and I found it quite interesting.
Finally something to validate my desire to stay home and hang out with my daughter reading and making crafts! (Whose to say that would be a bad thing?)
This line really spoke to me: “The problem for American women isn’t just the amount of time we spend working; it is the notion that we need to be perfect at everything we do.”
Then another friend posted this article about how the long for perfectionism keeps people from being happy.
I am inspired!
I encourage you to read both articles and take them to heart, but if you are too busy, here are some highlights from the second one:
-Perfection is impossible, yet many people still spend time and energy trying to attain it
-We are drawn to people who are real and down-to-earth, not people who are perfect
-Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, we can avoid the pain of blame and judgment
-All people need love and belonging
My friend wrote, “If it’s not the clothes, it’s the size of the clothes; if it’s not your career, it’s your mothering abilities. It’s always something. Even my eyebrows stress me out sometimes.”
I realized this morning I was doing the same thing to myself. I had kicked my own mental butt and and it wasn’t even lunchtime.
In this world of Facebook and Picasa picture albums and our whole lives on display for the whole world (or just our “friends”) we feel the need even more to present this perfect image. I don’t do it consciously, but of course I don’t tag myself in ugly pictures or post status updates when I feel like crap and want to run for the hills. I paint a pretty picture, as do we all.
But what would happen if we painted an “authentic picture” instead?
Would we scare people? Would we scare ourselves?
Well, some mornings (like today)I feel like this:
And it makes me shrink, turn away from people, hide in my classroom and give a half-hearted smile, rather than a full-on happy face. Not because I’m mean, or because I don’t like people; because I’m afraid they will think I am not enough. I look ugly. I didn’t fix my hair. I look tired. I have wrinkles. And in my mind that = bad person.
Why? I don’t know, it sounds absolutely ludicrous as I type.
But have you ever felt the same way?
I want to feel good about myself everyday, starting now. Whether I fix my hair, have on a cute outfit, wear makeup or not. All of those external factors don’t affect my ability to smile, and be nice to others, and when I do that, I feel pretty good because I generally get a very positive response.
What would happen if we all just let go of how we are being perceived and all of our worthiness prerequisites?
In “Want to be happy? Stop trying to be perfect,” Brene Brown says, “What’s the greater risk? Letting go of what people think — or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?
Worthiness doesn’t have prerequisites.
We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.”
If we can believe that, then I’m pretty sure everything else will fall into place.
I encourage you to make your own statements, whether in a blog, a picture, or in your journal.
What are you waiting for?
Be worthy NOW!
PS–don’t feel the need to leave me nice comments about how I really don’t look old and tired, and have wrinkles. You all are nice friends, but you that is not what I want. Thanks for reading!
6 thoughts on “Be Worthy Now”
I enjoyed reading this post. I know how you feel. I always feel like I am apologizing to people for the way I look. I seriously do that because I am embarrassed for not wearing makeup, being over weight, and not dressed in nice clothes. Its silly because most people don't care…or even notice. We beat ourselves up and we shouldn't.
this post is a-maz-ing! pure inspiration and SO needed! i definitely have these days! i'm pretty sure we all do! it makes me sad that we/amazing women have to go through this. i definitely need to do this for my blog, too!! we need to start coming together like this..imagine how the world would be if we did this! a-maz-ing! thanks for the inspiration!
I like your point about living our lives so visibly. No one posts pictures of their babies screaming, covered in spit up, with the parents standing in the background looking completely helpless. And with status updates it's a funny thing: when people are too honest too often, well, it's just a drag. But when people only post the positive stuff, and the good pictures, it's so easy to look at that and think "God, everyone else is so together and I'm a total disaster."
It's interesting how that seems to make perfectionism even more prevalent. It's really not just the media, it's US. We do it to ourselves and we do it to each other.
where have you been my whole life and how are we just becoming friends now?
We are both writing about very similar topics and inspired by Brene Brown. Let's keep the courage going! I'll post a link to your blog on my blog! Thanks for your honesty. It makes me feel less alone!
I love this. Love love love. I want to print it out and read it every day. Thank you for reminding us all that we are enough. 🙂 xoxo