The Artist’s Way Toolkit: Create Despite Your Fears

June 14, 2012 2 Comments

I don’t know how many times I’ve almost purchased The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, so when I heard about the online, interactive Artist’s Way Toolkit, I was thrilled.

The original Artist’s Way is a bestselling book on creativity which is described by the publisher as ”…a twelve-week course that guides you through the process of recovering your creative self. It aims to dispel the ‘I’m not talented enough’ conditioning that holds many people back and helps you to unleash your own inner artist.”

As someone who has had issues with perfectionism in my own writing and creativity, this idea really speaks to me. Over the years I’ve been working very hard to let go of my fears of being “perfect,” thus giving me the ability to feel more self-confident and productive, especially in my writing.

I was hoping the online toolkit would provide an easier outlet for me to use the ideas and tips from the book, because as a mother of a two-year-old with one on the way, I find it pretty difficult to finish a book from cover to cover! While the toolkit is meant to work in conjunction with the book, I did find that I still got a lot out of just using the toolkit on it’s own.

By forcing you to write everyday, The Artist’s Way exercises help to  demystify the creative process by making it a part of your daily life. As Cameron says, “The more you do it, the more inspiration or “reinforcement” you find from the universe.” I’ve found if you’re constantly looking for it (inspiration), then you will constantly find it.

I found it hard to write the “morning pages” every day, especially because I’m more in the mood to write in the evenings, though I did find it was a good way to focus myself and give structure to my day.  I also found it hard to complete the “artist dates” (a once a week, solo expedition to  get the chance for your imagination to kick in) because I’m home with a toddler, though it was a great excuse to get out on my own and do some thinking. I really love the way Cameron describes the two, saying, “With the Morning Pages we are sending. We are notifying the Universe of our likes and dislikes. We are, if you will, telegraphing. With the Artist’s Date, we set our dial to receive. We allow ourselves to be receptive to inflow, no longer concerned with outflow.” I think the idea of sending and receiving really opens up our  creative process more than if we are just focused on one or the other.

One of my favorite quotes came from an interview with Cameron in which she describes the process in saying,

“You will learn not to be fearless, but you will learn to create despite your fears.”

I hope that as I continue the journey of my own creative process that I can learn to follow this mantra and never let perfectionism hold me back again.

You can follow the online discussion on BlogHer to read more about others’ experience with The Artist’s Way Toolkit!

*I received access to The Artist’s Way Toolkit for review and discussion purposes and was compensated for the time involved in crafting the review, but all opinions and views expressed here are impartial and not influenced by the sponsor.*


Filed Under: Beautiful Things, Writing Inspirations Tagged With:

What’s Great About Today

May 29, 2012 6 Comments

Have you ever felt like nothing can go right, one “bad” thing happens after another, and you just can’t catch a break?

Lately I have fallen into that trap…

And I’m starting to take it personal.

I can’t help but wonder why nothing seems to “go our way.”

I’ve even gone as far as asking, “What did we do to deserve this?”

Welcome to my pity party. It’s not a fun place to be.

You know…the SUV needs all new ($1,000) tires, all the windows in said SUV refuse to roll up at the same time, a huge business deal falls through, you get sick and rack up an ungodly ER bill…

None of it is earth shattering, or life-ending, or tragic.

And my husband and I find ourselves constantly saying, “It could always be worse.”

And it could. We don’t need a reminder of that. We hear of horrible things happening around us every day.

We know our life is good. Great. Ideal.

I’m not here to compare troubles.

As always, I’m here to try and learn something.

And I’m just not happy with, “It could always be worse” as the lesson.

So, then what am I supposed to be learning from all this?

How to be more patient? How to live simply? How to be frugal? How to appreciate the small things?

I’m starting to think the lesson is how to focus on what is already good rather than what “could be worse.”

I know you’re thinking, How perfect and cheery and pleasant!

Well, it’s not as easy as it sounds. A few weeks ago I asked my mother-in-law to borrow the book, One Thousand Gifts. I was determined to “dare to live fully right were you are” as the cover promises.

I read the first ten pages and had to stop due to uncontrollable crying.

Okay, maybe I’m not ready for this lesson yet. 

After my poor hubby accidentally backed into someone’s car in the bank parking lot today, we started questioning things again. Not sure if I was ready to revisit the-book-that-made-me-cry, tonight I serendipitously came across this article which invites us to ask, “Do you know what’s great about that?” every time a challenge arises.

The car needs all new tires! You know what’s great about that? It will be super-safe and easy to drive once we have them!

My outlook  finally started to change and just when it seemed like one more “bad” thing had happened to us, I remembered to ask, “Do you know what was great about today?”

And I had the best possible answer.

We got to witness the miracle of life today.

We got to see our daughter’s beautiful face for the first time.

We got to hear her healthy heartbeat.

And we got to watch her stick her tongue out at us, as if to say, “How dare you need reminding of what is great about today!”

_______________________________________

I hope to push the tears aside and read more of One Thousand Gifts, start keeping a gratitude journal, and continue to ask, “What’s great about that?” when more challenges arise.

A helpful journal topic to explore this idea is making a cluster of your current gifts and challenges.

I’m excited to share this journey with you!

 

Filed Under: Beautiful Life, Jounaling Tools + Topics Tagged With: , ,

Write Every Day

April 30, 2012 Leave a Comment

I’ve made a sort of “silent resolution” with myself to start writing every day (again).

Not necessarily blog, but write…just for the sake of writing…in my journal, on the computer, on a napkin…it doesn’t matter. I used to tell my students, “to be a writer all you have to do is write,” and there are sadly days, weeks, and even months that go by when I don’t take my own advice.

So many parts of me need writing to survive…my brain, my heart and all of my insides swirl with thoughts all day that need an outlet. Sometimes I just need a place to dump them, but most times I long to share and connect them to others, which is why I’ve always loved the blogging world.

I’ve asked before, why is it that we deprive ourselves that which we need to survive?

I make excuses…I don’t have time, I’m too tired, I’m afraid >>> it won’t be good enough, it won’t be perfect and if it’s not good or perfect, then what’s the point? (We all know I’ve “been there/done that” on that particular topic…)

Now is the time to give up the expectations and just write. To write. Because I need it. I love it. I want to share and connect. It makes me happy. And it provides an awesome way to look back and say…oh, yeah…that’s what I was thinking and feeling and loving and hating on that particular day.

And when I feel lost I remember.

I am not lost. I am right here.

In these words that overflow and spill into an awkward, jumbled and sometimes “beautiful” mess.

I am not lost. I am right here.

(And while there may not be perfection

I find great

security.comfort.happiness

in being grounded

in these words.)

Filed Under: Beautiful Life, Make it Beautiful, Read.Write.Heal Tagged With: ,

“Beautiful in my surrender…”

June 22, 2011 3 Comments
So, let me tell you a secret. 
I’ve been praying for inspiration. 
School is out. 
Summer is here.
I’m feeling void of…
ideas.
What used to come natural to me is now feeling forced.
What to write about? 
Well, prayers have been answered. 
Ten fold. 
(stay tuned for more later this week)
My first inspiration came from Writing My Way Sober. 
Enjoy her words of wisdom.
 
 
The above image is from Writing My Way Sober, who described these sticks found on an Oregon coast as, “drift wood, perfectly smoothed and sanded by the elements. Beaten by life – the waves, wind, rocks, sun.  I love them.”
 
She goes on to say, “What I am realizing is that my struggles during the past few weeks are all gifts: events trying to smooth, polish and humble me. Purify me.

‘When we are born our hearts are all shiny and new.  As human beings we come into the world with pure hearts.  We are created in the image of God.  The unabashed wonder and innocence of a child reflects our divine inner nature.  Yet, over time the process of life changes the pristine nature of our hearts.  Our innocence evaporates.  We learn negativity.  We say and do things that move us away from our creator’s image.  Slowly over time our hearts become filled with things other than God. 

We call this process veiling the heart.  It is how we begin to feel lost or disconnected.  The pain and suffering that troubles our hearts is a direct result of veiling. It has been written that 70,000 veils of both light and dark separate us from the divine light.’
–Kirk Habib Laman
 
So…when I stumble, I need to remember that each “bad” event can be an opportunity to lift another veil. To smooth another edge. 

So I suppose I’ll let the water tumble me, the rocks sand me, the sun bleach me. I’ll become a perfect stick.

And I will be beautiful in my surrender.”
 
That last line is haunting. 
And I love it. 
 
It reminds me of the mud balls…
  “We polish on own lives, creating landscapes and canyons and peaks with the very silt we try to avoid, the dirt we disavow or hide or deny. It is the dirt of our lives–the depressions, the losses, the inequities, the failing grades in trigonometry, the e-mails sent in fear or hate or haste, the ways in which we encounter people different from us–that shape us, polish us to a heady sheen, make us in fact more beautiful, more elemental, more artful, more lasting.” –Patti Digh

…and the process of learning that the dirt of our lives can be smoothed, polished and shined into something beautiful. 

 
Thank you, thank you, for your inspiration. 
Filed Under: Read.Write.Heal, Writing Inspirations Tagged With:

Wild Geese

May 20, 2011 Leave a Comment
 image from here
In all my talks of “good enough” and self-compassion, I stumbled upon this poem on another blog I read.
I read it first in my journal therapy training and I think the universe knew it was time for a re-read. Here goes: You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across thelandscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and therivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese,
harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

“Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver
from Dream Work
published by Atlantic Monthly Press
© Mary Oliver

Ahhh….
over and over

announcing your place

in the family of things. 

Thank you…
Mary Oliver
fellow bloggers
universe
poetry
you make my day.
Filed Under: Writing Inspirations Tagged With: ,

Trust it or Adjust it

May 18, 2011 2 Comments
Today in class we read “Purge Your Portfolio” from Patti Digh’s Life is a Verb.
I really wish I could have read this particular story right before my birthday party when I was having an attack of the “excuses“…
You know the ones…
“Don’t look at my patio, I didn’t have time to get new cushions.”
“Don’t look at my shoes, I didn’t have time to find the perfectly matching pair.”
“Don’t look at my hair, I didn’t have time to get it professionally straightened.” (
which is too expensive anyway)
“Don’t look at my stomach, I didn’t have time to lose that extra pregnancy pooch in the past week.”
UGH!!
In the story Patti said she needed to “lose about 1,000 pounds,color my hair, and polish my dance steps” before her high schoolfriends arrived for a visit.
She didn’t.
And then she realized “I didn’t need to make any excuses anymore.The hips, the house, hair–they just are. They are me. They are my life.This is me!”
She tells a wonderful story of her daughter taking her art portfolioto a comics convention and showing it to fellow artists to get theiropinion. When looking at one piece she said, “That’s not really a goodone,” to which an artist replied:
“If you don’t like something, take it out of your portfolio. Youdon’t want to have anything in here that you need to make excuses for. You want to be proud of everything you put in front of people. ”
Finally she asks, “What in my portfolio (where portfolio means house, life, brain, relationship) should I keep?
********
Taking another look at “excuses,” she opened the story with:
“For many people, an excuse is better than an achievement because an achievement, no matter how great, leaves you having to prove yourself again in the future but an excuse can last for life.” –Eric Hoffer
It just so happens that I recently discussed this very thing with a close friend. We talked about the pressure to be perfect(for me it’s with my writing and physical appearance)because somewhere along the way someone told us we were good, or pretty.
Now, I feel like if I’m not good or pretty EVERY SINGLE DAY, andEVERY SINGLE time I write, or present myself to the public, I willdisappoint. When I fear I will disappoint I MAKE EXCUSES…
“Don’t look at my hair/patio/shoes/stomach….”
How can we stop this cycle?
I have a notepad that says “Trust it or adjust it.”
I think I’m going to go with that motto for now.
LOVE it (hair, body, home, life…) and embrace it for what it is…or change it.
Be proud of everything I put in front of people, or get rid of it.No more excuses.
I know in my heart that the more I read, write and connect in this space, it will happen.
Filed Under: Jounaling Tools + Topics Tagged With:

I am human. I love a lot.

May 17, 2011 Leave a Comment
You know I love when things are cosmically connected…
I recently joined an interactive web group started by a fellow blogger friend at Writing My Way Sober and based on the book Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff.
The other morning I saw a group member posted  Patti Digh’s video on her “skinny jeans”…
Then, I went into my first block class, opened up Life is a Verb, and saw that the next story on our list to read was “Burn Those Jeans.”
Gotta love the Law of Attraction.
I also love this quote, which Patti uses as an epigraph to the piece:
“A lot of disappointed people have been left standing on the street corner waiting for the bus marked Perfection.”- Donald Kennedy
The focused free-write after the story was also a great exercise:
-For five minutes, write a description of yourself.
-Stop. Cross that one out.
-Set the timer for three more minutes and describe yourself again without using anything from the first description.
-Stop. Cross that one out.
-Set the timer for three more minutes and describe yourself again without using anything from the first two descriptions.She says, “Now you’re finally getting to the you beneath allthat other stuff. In this last description, you might find the realyou, the one beneath all those titles and awards and achievements.Getting to that “you” might help you set different, more real goals.”
I noticed the first five minutes I began describing myself withlabels–WHAT I am, rather than WHO I am (which reminds me of a favoritequote, I have inscribed on a rock, purchased at the Cincinnati airport:“When I let go of what I am, I become who I might be”).
The second three minutes I made a list which included descriptive adjectives and physical things.
The last three minutes I pared it down to the very basics of ME.
“I am human.
I love a lot.”
Don’t I wish it were always that simple?
I am human.
I love a lot.
I think I’m gonna make a bumper sticker to serve as a reminder.
*******************
Speaking of the Law of Attraction, I just saw this article on RosiePope’s (the lady from the “Pregnant in Heels” TV show) twitter: “Self-Compassion May Matter More Than Self-Esteem” which tells Neff’s story. I am currently on Chapter Two of the book and can’t wait to read more!
Filed Under: Jounaling Tools + Topics Tagged With: ,

“Good Enough” vs. Great

May 14, 2011 Leave a Comment
As I’ve mentioned before, I am reading the book Life is a Verb by Patti Digh with my Advanced Composition class. Today our story was called “Don’t Stop to Wave, You’ll drown.” You can find a version of the story here on Patti’s blog.
The story opened with this quote:
“Why are women so immobile? Because so many feel like they’re waiting for someone to say, ‘You’re good, you’re pretty, I give you permission.” –Eve Ensler
Why didn’t I hear that 20 years ago?
Another great quote from the story:
“Just imagine what we could accomplish if we harnessed all the energy we spend hating and changing our bodies in order to be ‘beautiful’ or ‘good enough.” –Eve Ensler
Also from Eve, “Women have to overcome their fear of not being liked. It’s a choice we have to make between being good–quiet enough, tin enough, pretty enough, pleasant enough, good enough–and being great.”
After Ensler’s play, The Vagina Monologues, became famous she spoke of being drawn toward a fast-moving and powerful river, being part of that river, and of creating in and of the river.
“The only time I got into trouble in the river,” she said slowly, “was when I wanted people to look at me in the boat in the river, when I wanted to stop and wave and make sure people saw me in the boat.”
Patti said, “At those moments when we try to wave and be seen and praised, we are actually drowning.”
So true!
Patti advises, “Get in to the river. Fully embrace it and flow with it because it knows what you should be doing with your life. Move with it without trying to stop the boat so people can admire you and like you, so they can say ‘You’re good, you’re smart, you’re pretty. I give you permission.’ Keep moving, keep seeing, keep knowing, and keep saying what you know to be your truth, without needing or looking for the admiration of others. You are good. You are beautiful. You are smart. Give yourself permission. ” 

The journal topic for this piece mentions the “imposter syndrome,” something I know many women suffer from.

Emil M. Cioran said: “It is because we are all imposters that we endure each other.”
-There are times in all our lives when we feel like an imposter, like someone who will be “found out.” Write for five minutes in response to this question: When do you feel like an imposter? What do you fear people will find out about you?
-Stop. Read what you have written.
-Circle a word or phrase that stands out as a hot spot and write for five minutes on that topic.

After re-reading my first journal response , I circled the word “good” as my hot spot and wrote the following:

The word “good” stands out in a lot of my writing…especially the phrase “good enough.”
What is “good” anyway? Who gets to define “good”?
Look inside “good” and you will find…
“okay, sufficient, mediocre”
Don’t I want to be great?
In this story the author says the difference between being good and great lies in overcoming our fear of not being liked.
We can be good–quiet enough, thin enough, pretty enough, pleasant enough–enough.
Or we can be great.
I choose great.

Here are some more quotes Patti sprinkled throughout her story:
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” –Dr. Seuss
“Do not carry the burden of the past; do not live in the future. The only important thing is that one lives in the present authentically and fully. Whatever your current life is, be the most you ca be by living in the moment.”–Chin Chih
My final thoughts:
It’s supposed to rain all day tomorrow for my big, outdoor, BBQ style, birthday party. My hubby is stressing out majorly. I love nothing more than SUNSHINE….when I envisioned this big birthday party I told him all I wanted was to sit outside in the sun, eat good food, drink some wine, and listen to good music.Well, it looks like the sun isn’t going to happen. But, instead of letting it ruin my day, I’m going to try really hard to live in the present moment authentically and fully. I am going to love my imperfect appearance and home. And I am going to dance in the rain.
Filed Under: Jounaling Tools + Topics Tagged With: ,

Whatever happens…

May 11, 2011 Leave a Comment
 A friend sent this quote a few days ago.

“It is best to hope for an experience of life in all its fullness- 
a life that can embrace both joy and sorrow and still be at peace.  
Our triumph over sorrow is not that we can avoid it but that we can endure it.
And therein lies our hope;
that in spirit we might become bigger then the problems we face.
Hope lies in having more faith in the power of God to heal us
then in the power of anything to hurt or destroy us.
Our hope in God is not a hope for something to happen in the world
but something to happen in us.
We’re not hoping that this or that will happen
but that we’ll achieve a state of consciousness in which,  
whatever happens, we will not swerve from love or peace.”
–Marianne Williamson
How fitting for me right now.
While it’s quite difficult,
I am at the point in my spiritual journey where I am really working on this in particular:
“We’re not hopingthat this or that will happen but that we’ll achieve a state ofconsciousness in which, whatever happens, we will not swerve from loveor peace.”I think praying for “peace” rather for a specific outcome has really helped me get through the last week.

 

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It all started with a mud ball…

April 15, 2011 2 Comments
Today is one of those days where everything is cosmically connecting.
And it all started with a mud ball.
Let me go back to the beginning…
 
Today we read a story called “Polish Your Mud Balls” in Life is a Verb by Patti Digh. We read stories from the book a few times a week and complete the writing exercises that accompany them. The background on the book is that when one of my students, Angela Kania, passed away her mother gave me money to use towards Advanced Comp. because it was one of Angela’s favorite classes. She often wrote about “appreciating the small joys in life” so when I came across this book I knew it was the perfect way to have her legacy live on through our reading and writing about living “life as a verb.”
 
Today’s story was especially inspiring. You can read a version of it on the author’s blog here.
 
The whole point of the story is, “Don’t seek perfection. Make messes. Play. Make a mud ball. Love what you are creating, even if it never shines, even if it cracks…don’t fear the showers of silt that make the mud balls of our lives shine.”
 
The mud balls are an excellent metaphor for life as Patti explains, “We polish on own lives, creating landscapes and canyons and peaks with the very silt we try to avoid, the dirt we disavow or hide or deny. It is the dirt of our lives–the depressions, the losses, the inequities, the failing grades in trigonometry, the e-mails sent in fear or hate or haste, the ways in which we encounter people different from us–that shape us, polish us to a heady sheen, make us in fact more beautiful, more elemental, more artful, more lasting.”
 
After we read the story, I had my students write three haiku’s….one about failure, one about perfection, and one about the beauty of dirt (and “dirt” could be a metaphor for all things sad, messy, or ugly in life).
 
At the end they realized that the poems about failure and “dirt” were just as beautiful, if not more, than those about perfection.
 
The more we talked about it, the more we thought it would be SO much fun to make our own mudballs….and then we thought, how much fun would it be to make them with the second graders we’ve been mentoring (who happen to be taught by our friend, MaDee’s, mother)?

So our plan is to teach the kids about mud balls, and the little metaphor for life that they hold, and then help them to make their own. We will write haiku’s with them about failure, perfection, dirt, and life in general during the process. In the end, each kid will have their very own mud ball, be it shiny, cracked, beautiful or flawed.

But it doesn’t end there. 
Our goal is to make a bunch of them, bag them up, and sell them at MaDee’s Market this fall, complete with a little tag explaining the metaphor of the mud ball and pictures of MaDee and Angela, who I know will be sitting together in heaven, smiling down on us as we teach these children and ourselves to appreciate the beauty in imperfection…the dirt of life. To play. To make a mess. To love what we create, even if it never shines, even if it cracks. 
To never fear the showers of silt that make the mud balls of our lives shine.
Cosmically connected? 
I think so. 
And don’t you just love it when that happens? 
I sure do.



Filed Under: Writing Inspirations Tagged With: ,
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