Tag Archives : anxiety

Operation Feel Good 2013 7

It’s time to start feeling better!

I’ve been struggling with stomach issues and anxiety for as long as I can remember and I really want to make a change.

My chiropractor recommended a unique doctor who specializes in female issues related to diet and hormones and today was my first appointment. It felt so refreshing to meet with someone who I feel can really help me!

She recommended a few things to start with and I go back in two weeks for another check-up. She also ran some initial tests to get an idea of where I am with my hormones, thyroid, and more.

Over the years I’ve tried cutting out meat, dairy, and gluten, among other things but I’ve never been able to stick with it or see a real difference with my stomach pains. As for the anxiety, I’ve tried everything from meditation to medication and haven’t found much relief. She recommended I read The Paleo Solution and start experimenting with The Paleo Diet. A quick summary of the diet says that, “It’s the healthiest way you can eat because it is the ONLY nutritional approach that works with your genetics to help you stay lean, strong and energetic! Research in biology, biochemistry, Ophthalmology, Dermatology and many other disciplines indicate it is our modern diet, full of refined foods, trans fats and sugar, that is at the root of degenerative diseases such as obesity, cancer, diabetes, heart disease, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, depression and infertility. – Robb Wolf

Hmm…it’s definitely worth a try, though I know it’s going to be HARD.

Cutting out grains, dairy and refined sugar is part of the diet. This may sound impossible right now but I think I’m willing to give it a shot if it’s going to help with my stomach problems, anxiety and low energy!!

I’d love to chronicle my experience here to help get the motivation and encouragement that I am going to need to make this positive change! Let me know if you’ve heard of this diet and lifestyle change or any other tips you may have!!

Thoughts Thursday: Getting back up 2

Image from Sidney Leigh Photography. Love her.
So far today has been a step up from yesterday. I didn’t get up early enough to do yoga, but I did have time for a shower and blow-dry, still getting to work ten minutes earlier than usual. It wasn’t without some fussing and anxiety, but at least we all made it to point “A” in one piece, as some of you mentioned yesterday!
Speaking of, thank you all for the supportive comments and for letting me know that I am NOT alone in this whole working-mommying-life thing. It is such a blessing to be connected to a truly amazing network of women and I don’t know what I would do without my blogging peeps. E.L.E.
As I reflect on my post and the comments I received I realize that things aren’t always as bad as they seem, and once again, I don’t have to be perfect. Plenty of other moms forget to pay bills, shower, buy food, _________ (fill in the blank). And it’s okay. Nobody is comparing, right?
Wearing bedroom slippers in public, having messy hair, dirty floors, non-gourmet meals and the stomach flu are things I can get over. But despite all the positive encouragement, there are still a few things that I am not okay with. Being so unorganized that I don’t realize we are out of formula for the baby, fussing at the hubby as I’m rushing out the door, and being generally negative are just a few.
After contemplation I see now that those few things were at the core of my feelings of failure. All the other stuff just kind of piled on, making it seem like life was ending. I can’t help but remember, when I was on anxiety medicine I didn’t have those feelings of failure. I didn’t have the fussing and the general negativity. I didn’t feel like “life was ending” because I forgot the baby formula. I didn’t show up crying at the babysitter.
And I miss that.
It took the edge off. I probably seemed happier, less grumpy, and more “together.”
So why did I go off, again?
Insert tears here.
This is such a touchy subject. I know medicine is a life saver for so many. I know it helped me. I know I was probably more stable with it. But I also know, I wanted to start fresh. I wanted to be more in touch with my body. I wanted to stop suppressing and start feeling. I wanted to know if things were really that bad. I wanted to have hopes of living a life un-medicated. I wanted to give it a shot.
But, I can’t help but wonder, as I choke ’em back and feel a lump in my stomach, would I be a better mother if I were still taking the medicine?
(and I can’t fathom the thought of making HER life more miserable because of my issues)
I guess I am at a point of contention. “Trust it or adjust it,” right?
So, can I use a combination of yoga, meditation, acupuncture, talking and writing to heal myself?
Can I get rid of my anxiety on my own?
Is it really possible?
Is it really worth it?
Am I setting myself up for failure?
These are the questions I must ask.
I can’t let one little break-down change the past month of progress I have made.
I fell down. Now it’s time to get back up.

We are more connected than we believe 1

I sent a telepathic message to Oprah through my Facebook Status to please do some better shows before her last season is over and…she answered!
Wednesday’s episode, “Do you Believe in Miracles,” may seem a little out there, but I was inspired. Millions are flocking to a tiny Brazilian village to be healed by a farmer with no medical training and little education. Is he performing miracles? She got firsthand accounts from skeptics and believers.

(I thought Oprah was also looking especially pretty in peach). 
Dr. Jeff Rediger is a psychiatrist who traveled to the Casa seven years ago as a skeptic.  He has since said the trip “turned his life upside down.” I thought his summary was considerably meaningful.
He said, “In short, we all matter far more than we typically have a clue about. And love is what is real.We tend to believe in what we can see and touch and believe that the world as it appears to be is the real world. On the basis of my experience, I’ve come to believe that reality is both revealed and concealed by the world we see with our eyes and that none of us are who we appear to be.”
Oprah added, “These are just little human suits that we’re using to disguise who we really are” which I thought connected very well with the Brené Brown journey of authenticity and worthiness I have been on lately.
Dr. Rediger went on to say, “…There is something unrepeatable and good about who we are.There is something mysterious about being human. I believe that our suffering comes in some way from not ‘getting it’ about the dignity and goodness of what our individual life means. And I believe that we also often may feel alone, but we’re not alone in any way like we believe we are. I think we are more connected than we believe. I feel like there’s a dignity and goodness to what we bring into the world and the point of our lives somehow is to begin to ‘get it’ about that.”

And that, my friends, is why I do THIS.

This blog, this writing, this sharing–all for the sake of connecting and spreading the goodness in the world.

Hearing people say my words are meaningful and inspiring and helpful is a miracle.

My miracle.

A line from the old Beck song, “Loser,” always stands out in my mind: “You can’t write if you can’t relate.”

In writing, I am trying to relate to anyone and everyone in an effort to feel connected to the universe. I think that feeling connected and loved is a large part of finding happiness which explains why people love social networking sites like Facebook. Since starting this quest of writing, sharing and connecting on a daily basis through this blog I have never been happier.

Finally, Dr. Rediger’s best summary of what he learned from his experience:

“Perhaps the real heart within us is not just a pump,” he says. “Perhaps the real heart within us is about love and faith. Perhaps the physical body is not who we really are. Perhaps we are these invisible souls walking around, and the body is just an instrument or metaphor for something we are trying to learn.”

Coming from a doctor, I find this quite refreshing.

This post wouldn’t be complete without a little pop culture. In last Thursday’s Grey’s Anatomy episode, “Something’s Gotta Give,”  Meredith ended with one of her sometimes cheesy, sometimes wise voice overs. I thought this one was particularly insightful:

“Every pressurized system needs a relief valve. There has to be a way to reduce the stress; the tension before it becomes too much to bear. There has to be a way to find relief, because if the pressure doesn’t find a way out it’ll make one. It will explode. It’s the pressure we put on ourselves that’s the hardest to bear. The pressure to be better than we are. The pressure to be better than we think we can be. It never, ever lets up. It just builds and builds and builds.”

My relief valve is writing, sharing, connecting, loving, helping.

Without it the anxiety, the pressure, the quest for perfection, become too much.

(The pressure to be better than we are. The pressure to be better than we think we can be.)

What is your relief valve?

What are you doing to stop the pressure?

What is your miracle?