What’s Great About Today

May 29, 2012 6 Comments

Have you ever felt like nothing can go right, one “bad” thing happens after another, and you just can’t catch a break?

Lately I have fallen into that trap…

And I’m starting to take it personal.

I can’t help but wonder why nothing seems to “go our way.”

I’ve even gone as far as asking, “What did we do to deserve this?”

Welcome to my pity party. It’s not a fun place to be.

You know…the SUV needs all new ($1,000) tires, all the windows in said SUV refuse to roll up at the same time, a huge business deal falls through, you get sick and rack up an ungodly ER bill…

None of it is earth shattering, or life-ending, or tragic.

And my husband and I find ourselves constantly saying, “It could always be worse.”

And it could. We don’t need a reminder of that. We hear of horrible things happening around us every day.

We know our life is good. Great. Ideal.

I’m not here to compare troubles.

As always, I’m here to try and learn something.

And I’m just not happy with, “It could always be worse” as the lesson.

So, then what am I supposed to be learning from all this?

How to be more patient? How to live simply? How to be frugal? How to appreciate the small things?

I’m starting to think the lesson is how to focus on what is already good rather than what “could be worse.”

I know you’re thinking, How perfect and cheery and pleasant!

Well, it’s not as easy as it sounds. A few weeks ago I asked my mother-in-law to borrow the book, One Thousand Gifts. I was determined to “dare to live fully right were you are” as the cover promises.

I read the first ten pages and had to stop due to uncontrollable crying.

Okay, maybe I’m not ready for this lesson yet. 

After my poor hubby accidentally backed into someone’s car in the bank parking lot today, we started questioning things again. Not sure if I was ready to revisit the-book-that-made-me-cry, tonight I serendipitously came across this article which invites us to ask, “Do you know what’s great about that?” every time a challenge arises.

The car needs all new tires! You know what’s great about that? It will be super-safe and easy to drive once we have them!

My outlook  finally started to change and just when it seemed like one more “bad” thing had happened to us, I remembered to ask, “Do you know what was great about today?”

And I had the best possible answer.

We got to witness the miracle of life today.

We got to see our daughter’s beautiful face for the first time.

We got to hear her healthy heartbeat.

And we got to watch her stick her tongue out at us, as if to say, “How dare you need reminding of what is great about today!”

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I hope to push the tears aside and read more of One Thousand Gifts, start keeping a gratitude journal, and continue to ask, “What’s great about that?” when more challenges arise.

A helpful journal topic to explore this idea is making a cluster of your current gifts and challenges.

I’m excited to share this journey with you!

 

Filed Under: Beautiful Life, Jounaling Tools + Topics Tagged With: , ,

Things I learned while sick…

October 4, 2011 1 Comment
This weekend I caught a little something something that left me living on the bathroom floor for about 24 hours. I’m still not feeling 100% but have finally ventured from the world of saltines and being unable to move, to french fries and the Internet. After pouring my 5,000th glass of ice chips and ginger ale I had a moment of clarity.
Here are some things I learned while sick…
1. I am not invincible to germs.
2. I will never again say, “Oh, it’s okay, I NEVER get sick.”
3. Use hand sanitizer. Especially while  handling money and after doing hair feathers on students in a high school where the flu is running rampant. And then eating french fries. YUCK.
4. Don’t eat Chinese food at craft fairs. Ever. Again. You never know. You just never know.
5. Keep a paper towel in hand while eating Popsicles…unless you want a big, red stain on your favorite Grace Potter tee shirt.
6. Don’t drink water after tossing your cookies, no matter how thirsty you are. It will not end well. Stick with the ginger ale.
7. Facebook gets old.
8. Pinterest never gets old.
9. Comcast “On Demand” is amazing. While stuck on the couch I was able to catch the new fall premiers of Up All Night, New Girl and Pan Am. My favorite is Up All Night, which =my life.
10. My family is great. My hubby took over mommy-duty, my father-in-law brought me ginger ale at 7:30 am, my sister-in-law brought me chicken noodle soup, crackers, and Popsicles and my mom sent me text messages with get well tips from two hours away. I love you all!
So, this is what we do when Mommy is sick…
…spend the day in our stroller.Just kidding.

AJH begged me to put her in her stroller today and it worked wonderfully as a ten-minute babysitter while I recovered from bouts of nausea.
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PS. And, no, I’m not preggers.
Don’t think I haven’t already been asked.
Filed Under: Beautiful Life Tagged With:

All Facts Are Friendly

September 7, 2011 1 Comment
I recently heard the phrase “All Facts Are Friendly” at a business networking event I attended and it stuck out enough for me to scrawl it in my purple spiral notebook as if I were back in my 9th grade World History class with Mr. Jacobs, who spewed genius “Jacob-isms” daily.
From a business standpoint my hubby explained it as “any time you get information, it’s a good thing.”
But I have been thinking about it more and more from a life standpoint. 
More specifically…a life as a woman standpoint…a very dramatic woman, nonetheless.  
Sometimes I tend to exaggerate (who me?!). 
I don’t always live in the facts, per say. 
Exhibit 1:
 Hubby: What was in that Steve Madden box that came today? 
Me: Shoes.
Hubby: Do you mean BOOTS? (as in the 3rd pair of boots to be delivered in the past week)
Me (indecipherable mumbling): I don’t know. Shoes. Going to clean kitchen, you start bath…
What I’ve been thinking about more and more is how the phrase applies to the casual gossip session we all seem to partake in from time to time.
I am sure most of us can say that we have learned the hard way that gossip sessions get uglier and uglier the more and more we stray from the facts and start passing on and believing speculation.
I must admit, sometimes it’s fun to hear the latest scoop, though people often focus on the negative more than the positive when it comes to talking about the lives of those in their social circle.
At the same time, it naturally makes us feel better about our own troubles when we hear that things aren’t going exactly right for someone else…especially when that someone seems to “have-it-all-together or “live-a-perfect-life.”
…It’s kind of like watching Jerry Springer. 
Man, it sure makes me feel better when I see a woman ripping out another woman’s hair on national television!
You?
(Just kidding…sort of).
Though I am certainly not preaching from any kind of pedestal here, I have noticed that the older I get and the more I read the works of authors such as Brené Brown and Marianne Williamson, the more I just feel icky after one of those gossip sessions. 
Kind of how I feel after watching Jersey Shore, drinking Firefly at all day parties, or buying too many shoes…like I have a hangover before it’s even started. 
But this time it’s a gossip hangover…and just like the days of Firefly or little-white shopping lies, the quick high is normally not worth the crappy after-taste.
So, the next time a gossip session is underway, I would like to make an effort to follow the “all facts are friendly” phrase. I am going to try very hard to stick to the facts, even if it’s something as simple as saying,”That girl in Starbucks had a very distinct accent” rather than, “Oh my gosh, I am so glad that girl with the really annoying voice finally left!”
The facts are much friendlier than the opinions, aren’t they?
Filed Under: Beautiful Life Tagged With:

How do you answer “the” question?

August 10, 2011 3 Comments
 
It started on our wedding day.
Maybe even before our wedding day. 
“So…when are you guys gonna have kids?”
As a young couple in our early twenties we normally responded with the politically correct answer of, “We’ll see…”
Five years later we were blessed with this little doll.
Yet, now that we have AJH, the questions have not ceased.
It’s not even the somewhat subtle, “So, when are you guys gonna have another baby,” that we often get. Most people just flat out say, “Sooooo, are you guys trying for number two?”
And it’s okay. This is not a rant. I am grateful that people are generally interested in our life and I have probably asked the same thing to my own friends. I think most of the time people are just making small talk and really just don’t know what else to ask a young couple.
So while this post is not a rant, it’s more of a discussion:

How do you answer “the” question? 

This is my typical response:
“Um, yeah, we’re sort of trying, but not really trying trying (whatever that means?!). I guess we’re not trying to get pregnant, but we’re not trying to stop it either.”
That makes sense, right?!?
When people are fairly persistent and say things like, “So, why haven’t you guys had a baby yet?” (meanwhile our daughter is barely 17 months old)  I am tempted to reply with, “Actually, I was pregnant a few months ago. But it didn’t work out.” 
But I haven’t said that yet. 
I don’t want to come off as “Debbie Downer” or sad “miscarriage girl” so I normally just pretend we didn’t go through that experience. 
But is that the right response? In my heart of hearts I think the answer is no. 
I have a lot of friends that have gone through the same experience or simply just can’t get pregnant and I have to wonder how difficult this question must be for them.
From my experience, I know that denying that it happened isn’t going to make it go away.
(I think the older I get, the more I actually believe the cliché, “the truth will set you free.”)
And sadly, miscarriage is now part of my truth.
A portion of this post from Life Rearranged on what to do/say when a friend experiences loss really stands out in my mind.
“Often people are afraid to acknowledge dates [and loss] for fear that the parent
will be reminded or upset.  The thing is, the parents need no reminding.
 The dates are always there.  Always looming.  Even years and years
down the line.  Your remembering will be comforting, not harming.  Get
out your calendar.  Mark down birth dates, death dates, due dates.  Send
a simple “thinking of you” card. Make a quick phone call. Do not be
afraid to use the baby’s name.  You will be a little light in a very
dark day for them.”
In this post by MemoMuse, she describes miscarriage as a “silent empty box.” She says, “There are so many women out there feeling this same feeling today,
yesterday, tomorrow.  It covers me like a vine nobody can see.  Much
like a bean pole vine grasping to anything its tendril can reach. Something sturdy, mounted in dirt, standing upright.  This vine of
sadness can’t grasp onto nothing.  So I grasp and curl around words. 
Around people I trust.  Around acknowledgement that it happened. That’s
its over. That I need to grieve.”
I couldn’t agree more.
While our pregnancy was lost fairly early at only 9 weeks, it was still a loss. It was hard. Hearing of other December due dates is hard. Seeing others having babies 21 months apart is hard. It’s all hard.
But it’s okay. It happens to so many of us. Maybe we need to stop pretending it doesn’t happen and embrace it for what it is. A hard loss.
Maybe acknowledging my current truth is the best way to answer the question. 
I long to cling to “something sturdy.”
So, when are my husband and I going to have baby number two?
Actually, I was recently pregnant, but it didn’t work out. Now we are just waiting to see what happens. Thanks for your concern. 
What is your answer?  
What is your truth?
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PS–If you’re wondering what else to ask a young couple in awkward social situations besides, “when are you having a baby?” try one of these “safe” topics:
-have you been on any vacations lately?
-how is your job going?
-what kind of music have you been listening to?
-or even just,  what have you guys been up to? (besides baby making!) haha
Filed Under: Beautiful Life, Pregnancy Tagged With: , ,

Free Friday: Advice from AJH

February 4, 2011 Leave a Comment
Don’t forget, if you donate to Sophie and Clara before Monday, you are entered to win a beautiful necklace by 2 Little Birdies!! See this post for more details.
AJH says,
this weekend you should:
Read a book
Smile real big
Laugh out loud
Giggle with giddiness
Go exploring
Love something
Have some fun
And just be pretty
Happy Friday!
Filed Under: Beautiful Family Tagged With:

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