Tag Archives : marriage


Tools and Topics Tuesday: Unglove Yourself 3

 image by my former writing student, Sidney Gardner. <3 her.
There is a reason why we are soul sisters. 
I just HAD to “re-blog” (made up word?) this quote. It encompasses so much of what I’ve been thinking about lately, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be buying this book ASAP.
We waste so much energy trying to cover up who we are when beneath every attitude is the want to be loved, and beneath every anger is a wound to be healed and beneath every sadness is the fear that there will not be enough time. Our challenge each day is not to get dressed to face the world but to unglove ourselves so that the doorknob feels cold and the car handle feels wet and the kiss goodbye feels like the lips of another being, soft and unrepeatable.

Mark Nepo, “Awakening Rights”

Hallelujah
(in high-pitched opera voice)

Despite the joy of Christmas, I’ve been been suffering from a bit of a funky/irritated attitude the past few days. I know that there must be something else behind it (and it’s not  PMS). After being particularly snarky to the hubby last night, I tried to put a finger on what was causing my anger. As we curled into bed I wanted to apologize, but wasn’t sure where to begin, so something to this effect came out. 
“I just want to feel loved.”
Uh-oh. 

(Okay, so it really is sounding like one of those totally hormonal PMS comments)

I guess I was just feeling a bit lost in the week long whirlwind of family events and busyness that I needed a quick re-affirmation of l-o-v-e. Totally girly, and ridiculous, maybe, but I am proud of myself for “un-gloving” and baring my true feelings, rather than continuing the snarkiness.

Next time I am feeling afraid, or sad, or angry, I hope I can find the courage to un-glove again–get to the bottom of the feeling, before doing something potentially destructive. 

Here are some journaling tools and topics to help you get to the bottom of things, as well:

1. How much energy do you spend daily trying to cover up who you are? How could that energy be better spent?
2. What feelings are behind your attitude, anger, or fear? 
3. How can you “unglove” yourself next time you feel overcome by a negative, angry or fearful moment? 
4. What is underneath your “glove”? Make a list of attributes of the “real you”–ungloved. 

Please feel free to share your thoughts! I’d love to hear them.