Am I ill with want? 1


Something about this song by The Avett Brothers really hits home with me. For the longest time I sang along without ever really paying attention to the words. Once I realized what they were saying, it started to make a lot of sense. I’m curious to see what others feel about these words. Read the lines and see what stands out to you. Feel free to copy  the song into your own document, make notes, and add thoughts to the margins.

Ill With Want, The Avett Brothers
I am sick with wanting and it’s evil and it’s daunting
How I let everything I cherish lay to waste
I am lost in greed, this time it’s definitely me
I point fingers but there’s no one there to blame
I need for something, now let me break it down again
I need for something but not more medicine
I am sick of wanting and it’s evil how it’s got me
And every day is worse than the one before
The more I have the more I think I’m almost where I need to be
If only I could get a little more
I need for something, now let me break it down again
I need for something but not more medicine
Something has me, oh something has me
Acting like someone I don’t wanna be
Something has me, oh something has me
Acting like someone I know isn’t me
Ill with want and poisoned by this ugly greed
Temporary is my time, ain’t nothing on this world that’s mine
Except the will I found to carry on
Free is not your right to choose
It’s answering what’s asked of you
To give the love you find until it’s gone
A need for something, now let me break it down again
A need for something but not more medicine
Something has me, oh something has me
Acting like someone I don’t wanna be
Something has me, oh something has me
Acting like someone I know isn’t me
Ill with want and poisoned by this ugly greed
Ill with want and poisoned by this ugly greed
Ill with want and poisoned by this ugly greed
For me, the lines that really stand out are:
“The more I have the more I think I’m almost where I need to be
If only I could get a little more…”
and
“Temporary is my time, ain’t nothing on this world that’s mine
Except the will I found to carry on
Free is not your right to choose
It’s answering what’s asked of you
To give the love you find until it’s gone”
Here is a video with more insight into the song:
Reflect on these lines, in addition to those that speak to you. Use the following questions for “starters” in your journal:
1. Why does wanting make us “sick” or “ill”? Have you ever been sick with wanting?
2. Have you ever acted like someone you don’t want to be? Why? How did you feel after and did you try not to ever go back to that place?
3. How is being free “answering what’s asked of you”? What is your definition of “free”?
4. Why are we never satisfied? What is it that you feel you still “need”?
5. When is it all “enough”? (see Barbara Crooker’s  Praise Song and my Praise Song for more on this)
I suggest starting in a journal, but there are no rules. I would love to hear some of your responses to these questions if you’re up for it. If you have a blog, feel free to do a post, and link it back here in a comment so others can read it and then comment back. If you don’t have a blog, I suggest starting one. It’s not as scary as it seems. Even if you show it to no one, it’s a great creative outlet, especially if you also enjoy photography and graphic design. I think it’s really fun to find different backgrounds and cool gadgets but a basic one will work, too! You could also link to a google document or a facebook “note” if you don’t feel like starting a blog. And if you just want to leave a short comment here with your thoughts, that will work, too! 
I will work on my own piece in response to these journal starters and post back soon. I normally write a little bit with each starter, then choose one to expand upon. If I have time, and feel like it, I may even edit and revise the piece until it actually makes sense! We’ll see what I get done this time around. 
Remember, this is not a place to worry about your writing skill. No one is going to judge you. We are here to write, and feel better, plain and simple! Do what works for you and share what you feel comfortable with! 
Thanks for all that are interested in exploring this journey with me!

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