Yesterday I posted about trusting or adjusting my body for what it is in this moment, baby fat and all. As I was looking back at the post today, this post was listed as something “you might also like” accompanied by this lovely picture of my 39 week belly.
Well, you’re right blogger gods. I would like to see that post again…as a little reminder that holy sh** my stomach really was HUGE!
Not only did I create a miracle, but it’s an absolute miracle that my stomach is even remotely back to normal after that major transformation.
In accordance with changing expectations I saw this quote on a blogger friend’s recent post and it really struck a chord. From Buddhism for Mothers by Sara Napthali:
The Buddha taught that attachment is the cause of our suffering and unhappiness. This is especially true for our relationships. Attachment makes any good intentions towards others conditional: when someone fails to conform to our rigid expectations, our feelings of friendliness dry up. We hold unspoken demands, expect people to somehow sense these, and then feel bitterly disappointed when they let us down… Relying too much on others for our happiness leads to unhappiness. We need to live with others in a non-demanding, self-sufficient way. If we could stop clinging to our relationships our minds would become more peaceful, freeing us from much anxiety and fear.
When my body fails to conform to my rigid expectations, my feelings of love for it dry up.
I hold unspoken demands for my body, expect it to somehow sense these, and then feel bitterly disappointed when it lets me down.
Relying too much on my body and physical appearance for my happiness will only lead to unhappiness.
Not only do I need to live with others in a non-demanding, self-sufficient way, but I need to live with myself, my body, my appearance in the same way.
If I can stop clinging to my appearance, my mind would become more peaceful, freeing me from anxiety and fear.
Thank you blogger Gods and friends for helping me to see this connection.
My body is a miracle. My rigid expectations must go.
2 thoughts on “Thoughts Thursday: Goodbye rigid expectations”
Its hard to believe your tummy got that big, esp with your first baby! Mine was huge too! You look great Priscilla! Believe me!
Body love is BEDROCK self-love. This made me cry. Thank-you.