This morning I got an email from my husband with those three words in the subject line.
“You are enough.”
And it made my day…
more like my life.
I’m not gonna lie. I’ve been having a hard time with too much work and not enough baby. I feel harried and rushed and like I have no real time to enjoy my daughter, husband, home…life in general. I feel like I am doing everything halfway. I feel like a mediocre mother, teacher, wife, person…and I hate it. But I know millions of other women go through it every day. I try to suck it up and move on. I know we are blessed. I am lucky to have a (pretty amazing) job and even more amazing childcare and family support. Life is good. But I can’t help but wonder how much better it would be if I could be home more, not only to spend time with my child, but to be more “available” as a parent, wife, and “homemaker.”
I know women have worked very hard at changing their force in the workplace, but I am perfectly happy with the title “homemaker.” I never really thought about the word until I recently typed it in an email.
Homemaker–one who makes the home.
I love the idea of “making” my home rather than rushing in and out of it, trying to spend precious time with the baby, cook dinner and keep things in order the few hours a day I am there.
It has been weighing on me and last night it all came out in a tear-filled, anxiety ridden explosion on my pillow around midnight. I am a woman, and I am hormonal, people.
And it breaks my husband’s heart. He wants nothing more than to provide for us and have me quit working full time and “make our home.” It breaks both our hearts. But like so many other young families, we are doing our very best. We are trying to stay afloat in this awful economy while also giving as much love and support we can to our daughter. It is hard. But, as I said, it could be so much worse.
Every now and then, I just need a reminder. So, from the words of my unbelievable husband:
“I hope you know that you are not just â€œenoughâ€ you are beyond â€œenough.”
And I hope all of you know the same.
One thought on “Worthy Wednesday: You are Enough”
Awww, Cill…I'm so sorry you had a crappy breakdown. However, I am glad to hear Ben sent encouraing words to you this morning. He is wonderful. I know that it must absolutely SUCK to have the most precious babe and not be able to spend every minute with her. I have no amazing advice since I'm not a mother but you're an amazing mom and one day AJH will understand that you & Ben do the things you do to provide a better life for her. There is NO question that you don't love her with everything that you are and she knows that, too. 🙂 I hear this same story from the ladies I work with almost every day & they keep warning me for when I have children. Like you said, it could be worse…they are here everyday at 8am and leave at 5pm, even less time with their babes! So smile, it can always be worse so make the best of every second you have with AJH. Love you!